"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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