If that was your dad, he is hot
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
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