1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Your penis caused this!
Randomize