He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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