You're my little dorito
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Jerry, you need to find god
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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