Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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