we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
