remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
