i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
