My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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