if you like me you must not know who I am
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
