What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
