So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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