Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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