This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
