oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Someone came in the potted fern
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
