I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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