Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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