I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
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Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
how drunk are you?
Several
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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