if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
