forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
