yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
