i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
