All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
