I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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