i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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