i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
