I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize