drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
