Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
