I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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