you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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