i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize