Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize