did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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