Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
