Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
