This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
