I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
