are you still at the devil's house?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
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