But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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