i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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