Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
