dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
