I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
