Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Randomize
