is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
