so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am naked and annoyed.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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