Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
