she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize