He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
