dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
