I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
