WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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