I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
