I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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