i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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