ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
