She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
my liver is dry heaving
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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